1 00:00:00,170 --> 00:00:03,790 Oh, that's a great idea, Jim. Right? 2 00:00:04,090 --> 00:00:08,690 If you watch a video of the first half of the Super Bowl twice, it's like the 3 00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:09,690 Bears win. 4 00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:12,350 Hey, give me one of those chips. 5 00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,330 Oh, sorry, I just finished them. 6 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,190 That was the last bag in the house. 7 00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:20,330 Sorry. Go get some more. Get them. 8 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,320 Here you go. 9 00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:37,540 Thanks, buddy. 10 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,340 Got any pretzels in there? 11 00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:47,540 Oh, no, let me check. 12 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:56,880 Oh, baby. 13 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,000 Hey, what's all this? 14 00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,380 Mom said... 15 00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:04,950 With the good plates? 16 00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:08,950 All right, what's going on? Did I forget something? 17 00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:12,250 Mom's making a piece for a king because she says you're our king. 18 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,610 Really? No, just kidding. What? 19 00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:20,010 It's your anniversary. 20 00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,310 You forgot. 21 00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,110 Oh, crap. 22 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,470 Just kidding. What? 23 00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,530 These plates are for strangers? 24 00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:41,330 Okay, you didn't see me. I'm not here. I'll see you next week. 25 00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:13,580 the candlesticks out of the pantry? 26 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,420 What's going on here, honey? 27 00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:19,060 It's Saturday night. It's our dinner party club. 28 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,660 Dinner party club? 29 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:26,560 What the hell is a dinner party club? 30 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:31,120 I told you about this. Could you please just decant the wine? 31 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,060 Even if I knew what that word meant, I wouldn't do it. 32 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:37,060 What's going on here? 33 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,060 Okay. Ten people from the neighborhood. 34 00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:43,030 Once a month, we're going to get together and have dinner at someone's 35 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,110 Cheryl, I do not remember hearing about this. 36 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,490 Well, we talked about it when we were watching the football game. 37 00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:54,630 All right, right, right. What football game was that again? 38 00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:56,830 Bears and Lions. 39 00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:59,050 Yeah. All right, great game. 40 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,830 Uh -huh. What was the score? 41 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,110 Five to four. Ha -ha! 42 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:06,930 You never told me. You lied. 43 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,270 That is crazy. 44 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:11,020 Why would I... Why would I do that? Because you know if you told me, I would 45 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:13,080 have said no, which I'm saying right now. No! 46 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,360 It's too late. 47 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,500 This is happening. 48 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,819 Go upstairs. 49 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:19,440 Your suit and tie are on the bed. Fine, I'll put my suit under there and I'll 50 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,440 hang myself with a tie. 51 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,300 Come on. 52 00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,660 I just want to be a part of our neighborhood. 53 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,420 Why? So we can have friends. 54 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,480 Why? 55 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:33,920 This is crazy. 56 00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:37,200 Why can't you just appreciate what I do for us? Because... 57 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:41,190 Taking something that I love, dinner, and ruining it with something I hate, 58 00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,310 people. 59 00:03:43,070 --> 00:03:46,590 There isn't a man in this world that would appreciate something like this. 60 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:49,170 Only two hours till dinner party, club! 61 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:56,210 I hate that you get to leave. 62 00:03:58,630 --> 00:03:59,630 Hey, wait a minute, listen. 63 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,050 What if I slipped you 20 bucks and you got sick? 64 00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:04,030 That way mom would cancel the shindig. 65 00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:08,120 eating nuggets and watching Planet of the Apes. 66 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,160 Dinner party club. 67 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,400 That sucks. 68 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,560 I'd like to meet the moron who invented women. 69 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:18,740 Hello, Jim. 70 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,540 Hey, buddy. 71 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,880 Party doesn't start for a couple hours, okay? 72 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:27,580 And no one sits in my chair. 73 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,080 I'm God. 74 00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,510 You're still in my chair. 75 00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:40,050 Yeah, real comfy, too. 76 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,090 So, you wanted to meet me? 77 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,770 Yes. I always have wanted to meet you. I got a couple questions for you. One is 78 00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:46,890 the Cubs, 100 years. 79 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,370 Come on, man. 80 00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:50,670 Are the Cubs ever going to win the World Series? 81 00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:52,330 Sure they'll win. Yes! 82 00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:53,690 Just not in my lifetime. 83 00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,430 What did they ever do to you? 84 00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,770 Well, for one thing, you called me a moron. 85 00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,590 When did they do that? 86 00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:08,740 Sure would like to meet the moron who invented women. 87 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,900 I'm a handsome, handsome man. 88 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,180 You did a good job there, guy. 89 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,000 I gotta tell you, though, Jim, I've been listening to you complain about women 90 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,920 for years, and I'm sick of it. Oh, come on, what are you gonna do, smite me? 91 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,560 Do you know what smite means? 92 00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:30,140 Yeah. 93 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,360 Like, pinch? 94 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:37,200 No, I'm not here to smite you. I'm here to give you a chance. You think you can 95 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,480 do a better job with women? 96 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:39,740 Uh, yeah. 97 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,520 Okay. They're all yours. 98 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,600 I hereby grant you my powers to change all of womankind. 99 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,360 Beginning now. 100 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,320 That's it? 101 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,080 That's your thing? You just snap? 102 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,880 You just remember. You change one woman, you change them all. Forever. 103 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,740 Giant boobs on all of them! 104 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:34,599 Jim, what's up? 105 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,280 Oh, I am glad you're here. 106 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:40,560 God gave me a special assignment to redesign women any way I wanted. 107 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,200 Big boobs on all of them. 108 00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:49,040 We're talking about all women. 109 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:50,640 Oh, God, Mom. 110 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:57,580 All right, let me... Wait a minute. You just believe what I had to say here? 111 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,960 About God? I mean, no questions asked? 112 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,910 Jim. I went with you to Minnesota to catch a magical giant fish. 113 00:07:05,730 --> 00:07:07,650 Where you go, I will follow. 114 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:12,970 What do you have so far? Well, I got all the bad stuff I'm cutting. 115 00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:15,090 Like emotions. Get rid of all those. 116 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,990 Get rid of all the crazy ideas. 117 00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:20,490 Their pickiness about who they'll sleep with. 118 00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:21,770 Yes. 119 00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,770 And the talking. The talking. 120 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,210 Yeah, 121 00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,650 yeah. Get rid of all the talking. 122 00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:30,230 You know what? I think it's better if women were more like men. 123 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,900 That's still with the boobs, right? 124 00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:35,840 No, I'm going to get rid of the one thing that does work. 125 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,260 So, how do you make your will be known? Easy, just like this. 126 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,220 Let women be like men. 127 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,100 What's up, losers? 128 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,060 You're not watching the game? 129 00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:51,540 Oh, we forgot it was on. 130 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,720 Losers. 131 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,040 You go over, butt wife. 132 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,440 Yeah, let's watch the game. 133 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,340 40 bucks as he hits his free throw. 134 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,580 Jim, it's like she's a man. 135 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,540 Jim, it's like he's an idiot. 136 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,820 Who wants a beer? 137 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,280 What is that, like a cooler? 138 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,540 Cooler and you, butt wipe. 139 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,200 Do not go into that bathroom. 140 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,360 I just made room for dinner and maybe breakfast tomorrow. 141 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,510 What's up, butt wipe? 142 00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,890 Hey, I'll tell you what's up. The stupid dinner party club thing you got planned 143 00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:37,649 for tonight. 144 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,650 I know, right? 145 00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:43,110 Guess what I agreed to that. I am such a horse's ass that time of the month. Oh, 146 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110 seriously. 147 00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,410 Wish we could do away with that. 148 00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:47,850 Oof. Done. 149 00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:52,550 Now there'll only be three periods, all of them in hockey. 150 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,250 Hey, I'll tell you what we'll do. 151 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:01,440 When the guests show up, we give them a turkey leg, a beer, and a map home. Oh, 152 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,440 yeah. 153 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,740 I just love you. 154 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,480 Yeah? If you really love me, you'll take me upstairs and knock one out before 155 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,480 sports center starts. 156 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,560 You got five minutes. Knock one out and take a three -minute nap. 157 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:20,480 I know, right? 158 00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:22,540 I'm gonna move on. 159 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,330 Make her say my name, buddy. 160 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:38,070 I'm done. 161 00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:43,130 You know, I don't have a watch, but I think I just said a new record. 162 00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:47,530 Actually, I... I didn't finish. 163 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,490 Aww. 164 00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:52,830 I'll owe you one. 165 00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,010 But in the meantime... 166 00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,290 Please accept this lovely parting gift. 167 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,810 Okay. 168 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:17,690 In a fair fight, you versus Superman. 169 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:21,170 Me? Totally, totally. 170 00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:23,610 A little tougher. 171 00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:25,910 You versus Chuck Norris. 172 00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,300 Still me. 173 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:30,300 You versus Oprah? 174 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:33,500 I knew it! 175 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,760 Hey, Jim, guess what? God's scared of Oprah. 176 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,560 I'm not scared, just respectful. 177 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:46,080 Hey, you knew this was gonna happen. You knew I was gonna mess up. 178 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,460 How would I know that, Jim? I'm a moron. 179 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,700 Look, I don't want to fight you, okay? Smart move. 180 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,940 If he can take Norris, he can take you. 181 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,230 Look, I just want you to change women back to the way they were. 182 00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:03,870 So, if we all agree that I got women right the first time, I'm out of here. 183 00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:04,990 you take care of yourself. 184 00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:06,770 I won't see you for a long while. 185 00:11:07,390 --> 00:11:09,750 Andy, smoke them if you got them. 186 00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:12,850 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 187 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:19,250 You gotta give me one more chance here. Do you? What about me? 188 00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:23,010 I'm a short timer. How does it happen? Am I in the throes of passion? 189 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,680 That depends on how much you like cheesecake. 190 00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,500 I do love it, so... Wait a minute. 191 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:34,840 You've got to give me another chance. I get three wishes or three chances, don't 192 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,520 I? Oh, that's genies and leprechauns. I don't work that way. 193 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,840 Are you afraid if you give me another shot at it that I might do a better job 194 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,260 than you? What's your step, son? 195 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:46,040 I won't hesitate to go Old Testament on your behind. 196 00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:51,310 Okay, okay, God. I think what Jim's trying to say is, you know, for 197 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,350 years, men and women have been at each other's throats. 198 00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:56,550 Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on, you gave Noah 40 days to build that zoo. 199 00:11:57,530 --> 00:11:59,190 Why can't you give me one more shot? 200 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,950 I'm still waiting for an idea. 201 00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,170 Well, um, okay. 202 00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:08,370 Hey, we had women being more like men. 203 00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:10,190 Maybe men should be more like women. 204 00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:14,830 That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. 205 00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:18,760 And besides, I got a million things to do right now before the dinner party. 206 00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:21,940 And I'm going to have to do it all by myself. And of course, I'll get no one 207 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,660 thank me. Oh, my God, you just changed me into a woman. 208 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,240 God. 209 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,020 I would kill for that metabolism. 210 00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:54,080 So, what do you think? 211 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,960 Huh? Do you like it? 212 00:12:57,180 --> 00:13:00,980 With the shoes? Are you sure? Because I got others. 213 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,800 Thank you. 214 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,040 What's wrong, Andy? 215 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,440 Nothing. 216 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,180 Come on, something's wrong. 217 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:15,600 Well, it's just that you told Dana how thin she was, but you didn't say 218 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,600 about me. 219 00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:22,770 Did you lose weight? 220 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,570 Two pounds. 221 00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,630 It's a start. 222 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,630 Yes, very good, very good. 223 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:34,990 Your risotto smells fantastic. Hey, just don't make it too salty because, you 224 00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:37,890 know, when the Ferguson served it, it was a bit much. 225 00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,770 What did somebody tell me? 226 00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:49,270 Jim, I am not serving something that's been served already. I would rather die. 227 00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:52,010 Oh, okay, let's not panic. 228 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:55,430 We don't have risotto. We have plenty of rosemary chicken. 229 00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:58,210 Yes, because I cared enough to make two main dishes. 230 00:13:58,790 --> 00:13:59,990 Thank you for noticing. 231 00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:03,750 I appreciate that you made chicken. 232 00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:06,270 It doesn't count if I have to ask you to say it. 233 00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:12,370 Well, just don't try out that chicken like Sally Dickerson did when she served 234 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,370 it. Yeah. 235 00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:16,830 Sally Dickerson? 236 00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:19,760 Sally Flippin! Dickerson? 237 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,940 Honey, would you just relax? 238 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:28,160 Do not tell me to relax! 239 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,820 I'm just saying, we can fix this. 240 00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:00,310 his mom. 241 00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:06,650 I mean, she says our marriage doesn't matter and she hates me. 242 00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:11,510 Oh God, I gotta go. 243 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,390 Is that the day, Alice? 244 00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:16,770 Yes. 245 00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:21,810 I just don't like this being a woman anymore. 246 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:25,150 I want to be a man again and now my eyes are going to be all red for the dinner 247 00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,150 party. 248 00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,490 Are you saying you want me to change you back? 249 00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:30,770 Yes. 250 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,170 Make me the insensitive man that I was. 251 00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:35,250 More so if you can. 252 00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:38,650 Pull my finger. 253 00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,210 Welcome back, Jim. 254 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:45,930 I know you've had a long day, but I hope you're ready to admit that men and 255 00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:48,510 women are perfect just the way I made them. What, are you crazy? 256 00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:50,290 Come on. 257 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:52,770 When we're hot, they're cold. 258 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,650 When they're cold, we're hot. 259 00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:58,350 I mean, they think the Three Stooges are stupid. We wish there were four. 260 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,310 I mean, they like foreplay. We like play. 261 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:04,889 Come on. 262 00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:06,690 That's all part of my plan, Jim. 263 00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:07,970 Plan? 264 00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:11,950 You know what? I don't think you have a plan. I think you're just winging it, 265 00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:13,030 baby. 266 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:17,170 I mean, come on. Putting church and football on Sunday at the same time? 267 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,050 I mean, you're losing half your audience. 268 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,690 Fine. No more football. No, no, not the fingers. Not the fingers. 269 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,160 Come on, man. 270 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,580 I love seeing you so miserable. 271 00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,060 Shut up and give me a kebab. 272 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,640 It's not hot. 273 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,760 Hotter than you, butt wipe. 274 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,420 Have you had Cheryl's shrimp wrapped in bacon? 275 00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:53,040 I gotta tell you, I've made a lot of mistakes, but bacon ain't one of them. 276 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:56,919 doing here? 277 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,600 I figure I put you through the ringer today, Jim. 278 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:03,820 So to make things square, how about I guarantee you enjoy the rest of this 279 00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:08,460 party? Look, I don't want you to think that I don't have faith, because you did 280 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,980 create puppies and rainbows and push -up bras. 281 00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:18,520 But there is nothing that you can do to make me enjoy this. 282 00:17:18,859 --> 00:17:21,980 Trust me on this one, Jim. Just relax and enjoy yourself. 283 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,750 Okay. I relax and enjoy myself. 284 00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:31,290 And easy on that shrimp, it's 16 bucks a pound. 285 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,730 Hey, Jim, good to see you. What are you doing here? I didn't know you were 286 00:17:36,730 --> 00:17:39,630 invited. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, huh? I brought your favorite beer. 287 00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,189 Gopher Huff? 288 00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:46,130 When you go for beer, Gopher Huff! 289 00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:48,530 Oh, hey, Jim. 290 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,650 Oh, hi, Mary Beth. Hey, come with me. I want to introduce you to my husband. I 291 00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:54,970 think you two would totally hit it off. What makes you think that? 292 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,480 Well, he worked for the Cubs. 293 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,100 Oh, heavens. 294 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,340 Hey, everybody. 295 00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:04,020 Oh, great. 296 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,220 We're wearing the same thing. Thanks a lot, Jim. Andy, settle down. Why didn't 297 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,960 you call me? We're not girls anymore. God changed us. 298 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,560 It's still a disaster. 299 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,880 Are you sure you can't stay a little while longer? All right. 300 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,080 Thank you so much for coming. 301 00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:28,750 And Willie, thank you so much for the Heimlich. It came just in time. 302 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,150 To your food. 303 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,630 Yes. 304 00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,110 Thank you. Thank you for that. Sorry. 305 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,310 Hey, the man of the hour. 306 00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:44,310 Look at you. I'm so glad to see you. Take my chair. You deserve it. Oh, thank 307 00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:48,450 you, Jim. I hadn't been so moved since Beyonce thanked me for her American 308 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:49,450 Award. 309 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,210 Well, I... 310 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:56,640 I don't know what it was, but it worked because I had a great time tonight. 311 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,960 I'll tell you exactly what I did. Nothing. 312 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,740 What do you mean nothing? I saw you do the finger thing. 313 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,380 Left hand doesn't count. Right hand throws the thunder. 314 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:10,780 You know, tonight all I did was tell you to relax and enjoy yourself, and you 315 00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:11,780 did. 316 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,140 You lied to me. God, God, you lied to me. Big deal. 317 00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,160 I just inspired you to find a higher truth. 318 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,340 Oh, that's a good one. I'm going to use that with Cheryl. 319 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,960 Once you've got a positive attitude, everything got better. 320 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,120 Maybe you ought to try that more often. 321 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,320 You'd find fewer things to get mad about. 322 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,160 You know what? If I needed a sermon, I'd go to church. 323 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,900 I know you like complaining about women, but I think what makes them different 324 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,580 is what makes them great. 325 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:42,980 Plus the boobs. 326 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,060 Better than bacon. 327 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,420 Hey, one more question. 328 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,530 The Cubs World Series before I die? 329 00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:55,430 Oh, come on, Jim. 330 00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:56,970 One miracle at a time. 331 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,610 What the hell got into you tonight? 332 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:05,970 What do you mean? 333 00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:09,090 Uh, you were charming. You were cheerful. 334 00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,870 You didn't fight with anyone. 335 00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:15,070 You didn't even pass the hat to cover expenses. 336 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:18,490 Well, honey, you know what? 337 00:20:18,730 --> 00:20:20,050 I had a good time. 338 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:25,940 Thank you. Oh, don't thank me. 339 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,460 Thank the big man upstairs. 340 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,680 Andy's still here? 341 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,760 No, no. 342 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,420 No, no, no, honey. 343 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,880 You know what? I want to tell you something. 344 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:42,480 I just want you to know that I really appreciate everything you do. 345 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,800 Even these stupid little dinner parties. 346 00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:48,660 Oh. 347 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,780 And I was thinking, you know what? 348 00:20:51,340 --> 00:20:54,760 For years, people have come up to me and asked me how I ended up with you. 349 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,320 And I get that. 350 00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:59,200 But I finally figured out why I was so lucky. 351 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,600 The Lord worked in a furious way. 352 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,800 Well, 353 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,580 count on more of that in the future. 354 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,600 Do you want to join me tomorrow for some shoe shopping at the outlet mall? 355 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,480 Oh, Cheryl. 356 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,800 One miracle at a time.